Musings b4 I'm fully awake:

09nov2015.mon

“Rhinoplasty.” That word adds insult to injury, don't you think? It's bad enough someone needs surgery to fix their nose, but to be told by their surgeon they look like a plastic rhinoceros is inexcusable!

Whoever put that damn “s” in the word lisp needs to get punched in the mouth!

The Mosaic law proscribes death by stoning for many things in the Old Testament, but gluttony, one of the Seven Deadly Sins? It doesn't specify stoning them to death, probably because the rocks kept bouncing off of them.

If your girlfriend or boyfriend makes your life a living hell if you offend them in any way, you gotta dump them; they're self-centered sociopathic control-freaks that only give a shit about you when everything's going their way. Get rid of them! But if you worship an almighty deity that will send you to hell for offending him, then you're completely fucked! For all eternity! But take comfort in believing He loves you    <(~_~)>

Or you can wake up to reality instead and dump that bullshit cult that was invented by self-centered sociopathic control-freaks. You're better off without it!

 These are some of the thoughts I wake up with.

Advice about psychotic paranoia:


This post is for You.
We know you're having a rough time right now. We understand. The way you toss and turn in your sleep, the maladaptive ways you interact with people, the stress hormones present in your urine and more tells us you're not doing well, so we're concerned, and would like to give you some advice:
Stop worrying so much when you're watching football games. When the players huddle together to talk about you, they're only sharing opinions about what you're wearing; they're not planning to get you.
Twenty-one days from now you're going to believe that covering your scalp with aluminum foil will protect your brain from mind-control rays, that the spy satellites in orbit will turn you into a mindless drone. Be assured that it's not true!! You have a beautiful mind, a fascinating brain, and we would never subject it to our control! We're just using space satellites to look out for your welfare. Besides, the foil will bounce the signals transmitted from our implanted microchip back into your brain, which can give you cancer.
And lastly, it is very important to take your meds every day to prevent abduction by alien beings. That's why we make those pills.

That is our message for you. We wish you happiness and well-being!

p.s. a few of our team members would appreciate it if you used milder forms of fantasies when you masturbate, as they're easily offended.