Explanations for cats- creationism vs reality.

Why are cats so adorable? Supposedly God made them for our benefit. Their fur is nice and soft for petting, which lowers our blood pressure. They're made to be affectionate companions for us, uplifting our spirits. And playful kittens fill our days with smiles and laughter.

So why the hell do they have sharp razor blades at the end of each digit? They're affectionate only when they feel like it. The rest of the time they don't give a damn about us. And the games kittens play consist entirely of pretending to kill each other. The more they enjoy chasing, pouncing, biting and fake-disembowelling each other the better killers they'll be as adults. That's what they're obsessed with- Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Seriously God, (or Yahweh, Jehovah, Vishnu, Hutta Moomoo or...) WTF??

The real explanation is far more sensible, lacking any of those eternally-unanswerable mysteries. It's an awe-inspiring story, an epic tale of survival. That's what it is to me. Whereas several of the large felines are apex predators the ancestors of our cats were both predators and prey, with the threat of violent death always near. The granaries built by our farming ancestors greatly alleviated the struggle for food, the grain storages being magnets for rodents. Those humans that saw the value of these furry non-baby-eating killers in turn repelled larger predators, increasing their chances for life. Human villages provided havens for them, and they in turn evolved and adapted to become closer to us, then more ideal as members of human families.

There is much, much more to this story, but I'll close with my observation that explanations based on scientific research, discoveries made through endless trial and error are more enriching for our minds than anything religious story tellers can make up. I love my feline family with all my heart, with full appreciation for how they came to be.

The baggage with "Carrie," novel by Stephen King

Forget it. I need to stop reading Carrie by Stephen King (his first novel, 1974). The goddamn memories keep flooding back. Do I really have PTSD from my middle-school years, when I was beaten and humiliated almost daily? I know bullying carves deep scars that last a lifetime but this was 40 years ago!!! And I wasn't a menstruating girl like Carrie. That part doesn't matter; them ganging up on me with taunts, threats and the occasional punching, kicking....

It ends with Carrie White's revenge, right? Over half the student body burning to death. Sounds kinda like my Armageddon fantasies, with Jehovah God striking them down. I actually prayed for Him to let me watch. Either up close or from a distance through visions. I do NOT want to relive those gleeful fantasies.

And religion: Carrie's mother being at the extreme end of abusive fundamentalism, putting her daughter through hell. If you think King's unrealistic in stretching that hysterical religiosity unrealisticly, you are so wrong. I am grateful I wasn't one of the millions of children terrified their whole live by such abuse. - "To Train Up A Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl, a book extoling the virtue of beating children.

I love my cats. Dude wanting to stuff himself into the leg of one of my pants, Ladybug so playful... I feel so much better now.

Mesozoic allergy

I'm not allergic to cats, dogs, birds, llamas or any other animal except one: pterodactyls. I don't know why my immune system would get upset over flying reptiles that've been nonexistent for 65 million years. Strange.

Ouroboros

One of the most ancient symbols is the Ouroboros. A circle of a snake eating its own tail, signifying the process of destruction and renewal, of the yearly cycle of seasons, of the samsara of endlessly reincarnating. Life and death.

When I look at the Ouroboros symbol all I see is an idiot reptile taking itself out of the gene pool.

non-commercialized Journalism

What we read in the news cannot be disconnected from the commercial sponsors that make news reporting possible. it takes a lot of money. A random, non-serious thought occurred to me: Have Reuters, API and the others receive their financial support from an impartial, objective federal government administration. Now let the derisive laughter die down a bit. Then the same inquisitive group of neurons put forth: What of history textbooks? The ones that are closest to being the impartial, objective sources of information we need for a useful,comprehensive & accurate body of knowledge necessary  to understand the past? How do they happen? Hmm... Journalism is the documentation of history, right?

I haven't thought any of this through so it would surprise me if there weren't any big gaping holes in my logic. But I felt like I just had to tell the interwebz about it.

If you think April Fools Day = Atheist Day

 Atheism is not believing in any gods or deities. It's very simple. In pretty much the same way you're an atheist in regard to every god that's ever been worshipped except one, I'm also an atheist in regard to every god that's ever been worshipped. Period. That's all.

But you think April Fools Day should also be called Atheist Day. After all, the Bible reads “The fool has said in his heart ‘There is no God.’” If you believe that to be the unbending truth, then you almost certainly believe other things to be true.

That our entire universe is less than 10,000 years old. (or at least humanity is, depending on the particular dialect of your particular religion). Adam & Eve, the talking snake- That's real history, right? Also a global flood 4,300 years ago, with every kind of animal in the world living within walking distance of Noah's ark. The origin of all our languages involves an ancient tall building having been constructed for religious reasons. The Red Sea parting, the whole Exodus story.
You are convinced that Abraham’s attempted murder of his child is a beautiful story about loyalty to the god that ordered such killing. And the massacres and genocides by Israel were also good, because God ordered them to happen. Men women and children were slaughtered because their religions were different from the Israelites, because they refused to become slaves to the invaders. Except for their virgin daughters. No one should have a problem with soldiers of the Almighty abducting girls from other tribes and nations after they've butchered the girls' parents, brothers and older sisters, their friends and communities. After such traumas, the girls were to be raped by these killers and give birth to their progeny. You really believe all that and feel it's all justified.

That and many more stories you take as literal history. Yet I'm a fool for not agreeing with you?!  And I'm going to be enveloped in agonizing flames for endless millions of years (or be annihilated instead, (again depending on the flavor of your special faith) because I'm convinced the Bible is no more than a collection of literature authored entirely by ancient humans that could not conceive of a supreme deity with a higher morality that those of the most savage cultures to exist. But you are going to spend your eternity in heaven, being friends with the Almighty Creator of our universe because he got himself killed by his own creation to fix that talking snake/forbidden fruit episode in Genesis. Right?
You and I agree on one point: Most people are being seriously misled in regard to this very important subject about the existence of a god. But logic suggests Atheists aren't among those fools.
Sorry about that. You really should try thinking, scrutinizing, being skeptical by demanding evidence for what you believe and told to believe. Life is better that way.
-Phoenix Knight, 01april2018
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I'm not allowed even to enjoy a book???

Now it's the page in a novel that's shoving me back into the hellhole that was my life. FUCK!! A decent book. With a wife throwing a bullshit accusation against this man, blaming him for a horrific tragedy. The bullshit accusations, the screaming... And certain words, specific phrases suck me back into a past that doesn't belong in the present.
I read to relax, to enjoy. It's now another fucking PTSD flashback pissing me off. FUCK!!!

do flashbacks like these make you tired too? make you pass out, almost? i can't keep my fucking eyes open. that cunt owes me. she better thank her precious little Christ there's no way I can collect on the debt she owes me.

Present moment of a thirsty towel.

Their need was evident, but I didn't pay attention.

My cats had eaten less than two hours ago, so they wouldn't have been crowding around me like this, as if they needed to be fed. Something was wrong but I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't "listening."

My listening skills used to be much better, and noticing that someone needed to be listened to. That's why I need to improve and keep to my schedule of mindfulness meditation. It has helped enormously. If I had been mindful, if I was living in the present moment, I would have been curious about what Easter, Dude and Ladybug wanted me to do. Needed me to do.

I had noticed the towel had fallen from their shelf. Sometimes cats move things around, you know. That's normal. But I hadn't noticed it landed right on their water bowl. And that it absorbed the entire contents of the bowl. Now that I cleaned and refilled their waterbowl, they're okay now that they've slurped up their fill with urgency.

Sorry guys!

Living in the present moment is vital, because life happens only in the here and now. The past has expired, the future isn't yet real, I always and only exist here, where I am, never anywhere else. Not ever. Here in this place, now in this time. That's where you are, that's where I am.

Be alive.

Omfg it's FREEZING outside!!!

I had to put on a jacket to go somewhere yesterday. With a sweatshirt underneath! And- get this- I could actually see my breath! During the day!!!
If this keeps up I'm gonna just take off and move to Florida.
-oh wait- I'm already here.

I'm Perfect..." By Abrahams

In the autobiography "I'm Perfect You're Doomed" by Kyria Abrahams I'm struggling to specifically pin down the exact cause of the author's predicament between a soon-to-happen escapist marriage, a death-threatening JW pioneer roommate and- bluh, it's complicated. I sort of know why it's happening to her yet I don't. Instead of just reading I'm struggling to pin down the exact psychological mechanisms at play here, being directly related to having been raised as a JW, as I have been too. It's tragic that your average 15 year old girl knows far more about relationships than Kyria did at 18. The reason is obvious, having only known a religious fundy cult as your worldview.

Ugh, I don't feel like writing anymore. Except to say because of her own accounts of OCD, I realize I've got to get myself checked for it instead of being disgusted with myself.