Present moment of a thirsty towel.

Their need was evident, but I didn't pay attention.

My cats had eaten less than two hours ago, so they wouldn't have been crowding around me like this, as if they needed to be fed. Something was wrong but I wasn't paying attention. I wasn't "listening."

My listening skills used to be much better, and noticing that someone needed to be listened to. That's why I need to improve and keep to my schedule of mindfulness meditation. It has helped enormously. If I had been mindful, if I was living in the present moment, I would have been curious about what Easter, Dude and Ladybug wanted me to do. Needed me to do.

I had noticed the towel had fallen from their shelf. Sometimes cats move things around, you know. That's normal. But I hadn't noticed it landed right on their water bowl. And that it absorbed the entire contents of the bowl. Now that I cleaned and refilled their waterbowl, they're okay now that they've slurped up their fill with urgency.

Sorry guys!

Living in the present moment is vital, because life happens only in the here and now. The past has expired, the future isn't yet real, I always and only exist here, where I am, never anywhere else. Not ever. Here in this place, now in this time. That's where you are, that's where I am.

Be alive.

Omfg it's FREEZING outside!!!

I had to put on a jacket to go somewhere yesterday. With a sweatshirt underneath! And- get this- I could actually see my breath! During the day!!!
If this keeps up I'm gonna just take off and move to Florida.
-oh wait- I'm already here.

I'm Perfect..." By Abrahams

In the autobiography "I'm Perfect You're Doomed" by Kyria Abrahams I'm struggling to specifically pin down the exact cause of the author's predicament between a soon-to-happen escapist marriage, a death-threatening JW pioneer roommate and- bluh, it's complicated. I sort of know why it's happening to her yet I don't. Instead of just reading I'm struggling to pin down the exact psychological mechanisms at play here, being directly related to having been raised as a JW, as I have been too. It's tragic that your average 15 year old girl knows far more about relationships than Kyria did at 18. The reason is obvious, having only known a religious fundy cult as your worldview.

Ugh, I don't feel like writing anymore. Except to say because of her own accounts of OCD, I realize I've got to get myself checked for it instead of being disgusted with myself.