I was never evil. I was never wicked. I never hated Jehovah God. My only "crime" was learning facts about the natural world. Undisputed facts that the Bible contradicts. Mountains of facts, of evidence. They are from different, almost unrelated areas of scientific research, yet they always converge to the same set of conclusions.

Humanity was NOT created 6,000 years ago.

We are the products of unguided evolution. Our existence was never certain, was never purposed, and almost didn't happen. That purpose and meaning does not exist for us means we need to discover it on our own. There is much dignity and wonder in this. There is also the mandate to learn everything we possibly can about ourselves, how we all (meaning all life) came to be the way we are. Learning about our universe, our world, our existence is the most beautiful adventure you can ever travel. Once you start, you will never, ever be the same. Enlightenment will do that to you.

And it may destroy the only life you've ever known before now. A life constructed upon the lies of cults and religions can burst into flames from the smallest spark of truth. I know. At first I tried to stop my house of cards from collapsing, a catastrophe when Reality pulled out one single small card of error. Science was the method I used to investigate, to research and verify that my religion was The Truth. The opposite happened.

May your thinking be as an Agnostic, always knowing you don't know everything about anything. Your mind will have no certainties to rest upon, always driven to doubt, to learn, to grow and flourish.

May your living be as an Atheist, compelled to find true happiness, joy and meaning in this only life we have, taking sole responsibility for this only life you have. Against the most stupifying odds, you won the lottery of being alive. The world does not owe you anything.

Genuine Atheism is never arrogant, but extremely humbling. Just as knowledge about the natural world and our place in it is extremely humbling, yet empowering.

I was never evil. I always loved truth, and I have always loved every single one of you. Every friend I ever had, my mother and sister, I was never mad at you for cutting me off. It was the Watchtower Society that did that to me, that does that to countless others. As Jehovah's Witnesses, you did not know.

John, I am sorry for not taking the time to talk, to know you as my brother. I know you grew up to be a loving, hardworking father. Please forgive me for not knowing more than that.

Theresa, Kayla, you have taught me more about human nature. You forced me to dispose of what I thought I knew to make room for more accurate understanding. The process was extremely painful. And often, it was fucking hilarious- I am so grateful to you two! As I am for countless others.

My cat Loonie, I love you so much. You really love me, I know. But your Daddy must go now. I am so sorry. You have Mommy, Gizmo and Squeaky to love now. And Mommy loves you and needs you. You are such a good boy, it hurts me to leave. I am so sorry Loonie. I won't be around to play, hold you, pet you and sleep with you. I love you will all my heart, always, forever.

I still have many reasons to be angry. Bt the anger is gone. Now there is only rest.

I love you all.

This is goodbye.   -Phoenix Knight, aka Erik  (17Feb1967-27Dec2012)