BLOG tue,22july2013:
It's been awhile since I last posted. My cat&best friend Easter gave birth to 5 on 21may, the last 2 were stillborn, although I did my best to resucitate them. #1-Dude, #2-Snowball, #3Lady. Today they're 9 weeks old. I love them!!!

They have helped me so much in my recovery from an abusive turbulent relationship of 4 years. Feline people cannot hurt me as humans have. I feel useful, valuable to Easter & Co. Sometimes I catch myself worrying if she's mad at me, if one or all the kittens are disappointed in me. Pathetic isn't it? It's a relic from the past and it's getting smaller & weaker as it's only an illusion, instead of genuine cause of fear. -now Dude's trying to help me type-


BLOG 30july2013:
Im falling apart. Health is getting worse. Depressionn. Ptsd flashbacks of theresa assaulting me with hateful insults accusations. The kittens help a lot but i cant afford them. They n their mom r the light in life but life is getting dark. Depression. Despair. If/when they re gone will i survive??? I dont see how..

Now im afraid i'll make Easter, Dude, Snowball & Lady depressed + angry at me. jezus. What Theresa did to me, i'm scared it'll happen again in the craziest ways. I hate this bullshit.
BLOG sun 04aug2013:
By myself, I may or may not be okay. Joy or depression, self-acceptance or self-hatred may be my state of mind. Interacting with people, however (human or otherwise) takes me out of myself. I feel good now, having gone to church (Unitarian Universalist, where even Pagans & Atheists are a part of). Most are college, university- educated professionals. Myself, no education beyond high school. But I don't feel at all intimidated, here or at yesterday's Suncoast Humanist meeting. It's very encouraging. I will start college in the spring. I'm very positive. Most of the time. As you can tell from previous posts, there's a lot of darkness inside.

"Let the light shine. Let the light shine in. The light shine in.
When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars..."  somethingth-dimension