Anger management issues. I don't have any. Not really. I've gotta remember that when I get too self-critical.
Examples: My niece's dog scooting her butt on my bed, for instance. The thought of some other person I know exploding at her, hitting her popped into my head with a "Thank Dog I'm not him!" I just have an addition to make to my laundry is all. After i spot-wash the sheet of course.
This morning some jerk had wiped dogshit from under his shoes on the outside wall of my apartment. Right next to the front door. Okay, I don't know what asshole did that or why. And I didn't care. I just poured water on the wall as I scrubbed it off with the toilet brush. Getting upset accomplishes nothing. Remedying the problem does. It didn't take much effort either.
Yes, I could get upset when a motorist comes too damn close to running me over. Why not? Someone putting my life in danger as I'm bicycling is a pretty good reason for getting pissed off. Screaming to get the fool's attention does accomplish something very important but again, why be enraged instead of irritated? I'm just glad to be alive. And to know those dangerous situations are very rare thanks to my "controlled paranoia," of assuming over half the drivers out there are texting, drinking and/or just plain distracted idiots. Without resentment. That's just the way the world is, so accept it, and calmly move on.
No matter what my cats do, It never occurs to me to get angry. Seeing my last roll of toilet paper all over the living room floor- my last roll, mind you! - tells me somebody had a great time while I was gone. Good! That's healthy! There is being annoyed too. Like having to pull Snowball out of the fridge several times a day, every day. It's not about food, it's just an OCD-addled cat and his obsession. Well, annoyed and laughing at the same time. (strange, isn't it? Opposite sentiments happening simultaneously? I think it is.) And somebody throwing up on a shirt, my bed, or some hard-to-reach-and-clean place. They don't mean to do it, it just happens.
Sitting inside the laundromat listening to two small kids chasing each other and screaming; That's irritating as hell. I was trying to read peacefully while waiting for my wash to finish but those two brats were getting on my nerves. Until it occurred to me that kittens do exactly the same thing! Sure they express their play differently, but it amounts to the same thing. And we adore watching those beautiful, precious little fur-balls pretending to kill each other! After that thought my irritation evaporated. No anger and I focused on my book. Poor mom, though, trying to do her laundry while reigning in her children to no avail. I admire people like that but I sure as hell don't envy them.
I have a lot of patience with other people but not for myself. Not good. I hate that about myself dammit!
16dec2017
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